Barbies Everywhere!
Written & Narrated by Marie Newman
Marie Newman is a former congresswoman, nonprofit CEO, marketing executive, author of When Your Child Is Being Bullied: Real Solutions, antibullying activist, former Moms Demand Action spokesperson and national LGBTQ+ advocate. In addition to those roles, she is a mom of two adult children, consultant and podcaster. Marie Newman is known for building movements and solving the toughest problems. Marie’s next book, her memoir, will be released April of 2025, A Life Made From Scratch. Her motto has always been, when you do not see the solution you desperately need, make it from scratch!
Marie has been frequently interviewed on MSNBC, CNN, Fox, NBC, ABC, CBS, PBS over the last decade for her congressional work and prior to that, her activism. She has also been interviewed by The New York Times, Elle magazine, Teen Vogue, Ms. Magazine, The New Yorker, Washington Post, USA Today, Chicago Tribune, The Chicago Sun Times and other publications.
Marie’s newest book, a prescriptive memoir, A Life Made From Scratch is in pre-sales and will be published in April. Her first book is When Your Child is Being Bullied, Real Solutions. Both are available here.
Hosted and produced by Peter Griffith; contributing producers Marie Newman & Rob Wallace; contributing engineer Micheal Henery.
Today we hear the true story of a journalism student who gets hustled into joining a sorority. It doesn’t take long for this smart sophomore to learn just what it will take for her to make the cut. Stay tuned for this secret look into a timeless college right of passage, a lesson not found in textbooks or online lectures – If something feels disingenuous, it likely is. But it doesn’t mean it’s not genuine for someone else.
Published January 8, 2025
Transcript: Barbies Everywhere!
[ 1980 music ]
HOST:
Today on campus, it’s somewhere in the 1980’s. It’s the decade of decadence. On the radio, all the girls just want to have fun, and that includes Whitney, Billie Jean and Jessie’s girl. But we can also include one other girl, a sophomore at the University of Wisconsin.
Today we hear the true story of a journalism student who gets hustled into joining a sorority. It doesn’t take long for this smart sophomore to learn just what it will take for her to make the cut. Stay tuned for this secret look into a timeless college right of passage, a lesson not found in textbooks or online lectures – If something feels disingenuous, it likely is. But it doesn’t mean it’s not genuine for someone else.
[ Marching band music ]
This is Once, In College. I’m Pete Griffith. Today’s episode was written by Marie Newman, an amazing woman who served as the U.S. representative for Illinois’ 3rd Congressional District from 2021-2023. Besides championing equity for all in Washington, this former congresswoman has also blazed her own trails as a noted author, podcaster, entrepreneur, nonprofit leader and marketing executive.
[ Bells from campus tower ]
But more on Marie later, class is about to begin. This is her authentic story, narrated by her, of a decision she was forced to make, once, in college.
[ 1980 music ]
MARIE NEWMAN:
As a college student in the mid-late 1980s, I was a bit impetuous. After a brief year and a half at my first college, I transferred at the end of first semester of my sophomore year to The University of Wisconsin for a stronger Journalism program. When I arrived, I knew a few “friends of friends” at the new school and was lucky to build a small social circle by the end of that Spring Semester.
To add to that bit of good luck, I was offered a well-paying job that summer at the university publications office while also working parttime at an unpaid internship at a PR agency there in town. However, that meant most of my new friends would go home and I would stay for the summer.
There I was down to one very nice friend, Shiela, who had just transferred as well and decided to stay for the summer. It was Sheila and I against the world.
[ Fun 1980s music ]
She was bubbly and seemed to be happy all the time. She was smart and witty, but honestly, she always reminded me of a human size combo of a Barbie Doll and Skipper Doll.
She had big blue eyes and honey colored hair with the cutest of the cute clothes. We had fun together, with nary a deep conversation over those first few months. I thought I knew her, but what I did not know is I would learn a great deal more about her. In fact, soon I would learn all I needed to know – all in one singular day, after several months of hanging out together.
I was a typical college student with very little money, very few clothes, lots of ambition and hoped to do well at some point in my life. With wild hair, a smidge of makeup and equal interest in my social life as my studies, I literally lived on Mac & Cheese, Diet Coke and beer. Sheila was a year younger and desperately wanted me to join a sorority with her that summer, “to make more friends.” I had never thought about it and honestly, I thought as a sophomore, I was not allowed to “rush”. Turns out, that some of the sororities had special programs for young women like me, who decided to rush later in college.
Reluctantly, I remember acquiescing to meeting with the sororities. I thought this might be a short cut to meet new friends. So, we agreed to getting ready for the “interviews” together and then visit with Sorority A, B, and C. Sheila showed up to my tiny apartment with four outfits, a large piece of luggage she called “Mr. Makeup”- it was clear she was taking things very seriously – and declared “let’s get to work.”
[ Dream-like effect ]
Ahhhh, now I see, she wanted to “fix me” before going to the “interviews”.
“Oh, uh, Okay,” I agreed.
“First, your hair, it is REALLY F-ING CURLY, girl, we need to tame it a bit,” she declared as she pulled out the largest can of hairspray, I have ever seen to-this-day. Imagine a bottle of family-size Tide Detergent, with a super pink canister spray device.
Next, she arranged a series of sheath dresses, one in each of the colors of the various sororities: blue, maroon, beige and gray on my bed. Sheila paused and said, “Oh I almost forgot! My full length mirror – in my car…shoot, – be right back.”
[ Car slam, footsteps climbing stairs ]
She came back to my door as if she was a skilled magician who could pull a hundred-yard scarf out of her sleeve, but instead pulled out a five-foot long mirror using her five-foot tall body, with ease. I have no idea how she got that sucker into that Toyota Corolla.
“Oh wow, you are prepared,” I offered with light notes of baffling and creeped-out concern.
Next, I sat on the bed and watched her continue to pull beauty apparatus and other systems out of “Mr. Makeup” while simultaneously, I received a lecture about how this is not a formal process and would simply prepare us for the real formal process in the Fall. They would simply “be casual meet and greets,” she stressed with wave of her hand.
I took it in and then asked, “OK, got it, so if it’s not formal, why do we need dresses? Why not just a nice shirt and my best shorts?”
“Trust me, you will thank me, this step of meeting with the 3 sororities now, will help us seal the deal for back-to-school.”
At this point, it became clear Sheila had done some real research and knew some things. Hmmmm. I started to feel a little uncomfortable at a minimum and straight-up queasy at a maximum.
From Mr. Makeup, emerged a series of jewelry sets I was told would be appropriate. All pearls of some sort with matching earrings.
That was the first straw of the proverbial camel’s back and I politely let her know, “Yea -Sheila, I don’t really… do pearls.” Very quickly, like a sharpshooter, she indicated without looking up, “Oh yes you will.”
[ Dream-like effect ]
I guess this very special episode of “‘Barbie Does Sorority Row” was really going to happen. Aaaahhhh. Help me sweet baby Jesus!
I reminded myself, this will be a good way to meet friends, right? So just go with it.
And so, it began. Her hypnotic and persuasive chat about our goals swayed me and I decided to let her have her way.
I ended up in the maroon sheath with pearls bedazzling and very red, as in not found in nature red, lipstick with heels that were very tall for someone who never ventured past the two-inch heel height range. A little teetery and definitely sucking in my tummy to the point of discomfort, I walked out with Sheila in her perfect dress, teeth, hair and shoes to her car.
We chatted about the questions they will ask, and she said, “oh God, don’t worry.”
[ Old-timey music ]
Sorority “A” was an older Victorian that smelled slightly musty. Three literal living Barbie Dolls answered the front door. We sat on a plush couch and immediately a clipboard was pulled out of a drawer and the questioning began. The Barbie trio shared that the application could not be filled out until the official “Rush Period”, but I will never forget some of the questions they shared that supposedly appeared on that application:
- What is your nationality/heritage?
- Do you have ancestors associated with our country’s founding?
- What does your father do?
- What is his income range?
- What is your major?
- Are you dating anyone?
- What is your GPA?
- Do you have any unfortunate incidents we need to know about?
My head was spinning. I only shared the bare minimum, shocked by the nature of the questions. I could not help but ask, “…why do you need to know these things?”
Head Barbie said, “if you are lucky enough to be accepted, then you become our family member and we need to make sure it is a good ‘family fit’, right, I’m sure you understand?”
It went on a bit longer. My head hurt and I remember feeling violated on some level.
We then had to go home and get into outfit number two and venture to Sorority B. Ugh.
At Sorority B: Rinse, Wash, Repeat! The formula of asking truly intrusive and inappropriate questions continued.
Ugh. I told Sheila, “I don’t think this is my thing.” She countered with, “Please, please do it for me?”
Now, I know me, and I know these situations bring out the worst in me, but I also felt obliged to her because she took the time to “fix me”. My reasoning was she went out of her way to tame my hair, lend me clothes and help me socially, so I sucked it up and we strolled into Sorority C.
Seriously, same thing at Sorority C, Rinsy-rinsy, Washy-washy and Repeaty- Repeaty. Creepy questions, lots of judgement and some very clear staring at my unruly and unforgiving hair and possibly, my little beer belly. Unfortunately, but expectedly, something clicked in my brain in that meeting. I turn back into my genuine self (the anti-Barbie, if you will) and turned on my super direct, blunt, alter ego. Boom! I unloaded on the three newest Barbies at Sorority C.
“I gotta tell you, this is creepy. No, actually, it’s weird. And not for me. Seriously, you are all like Stepford wives. I don’t even get it. Why the hell do you care what my heritage is, what my dad does and how much money we have? Jesus, this is really messed up. I gotta go.”
The Barbies’ eyes got as big as saucers and said, “Well then we are done here.”
I jumped up and said, “Okay, sounds great!”
At that moment, Sheila said she wanted to stay and finish chatting. I thought gross, but you do you.
I waited in the car. She opened the car door and looked at me piercingly, “You f-ed that up for yourself and almost for me. Thanks!” Sheila was steaming at me.
We argued a bit and I apologized.
I thought things were smoothed over, but unfortunately, I saw her the following week on campus and she was still super cranky.
“Well congratulations Marie. It has now spread up and down Sorority row that you are a bitch and you are not welcome at their parties.” Sheila continued, “you really are rude and frankly, judgy.”
In my head, wait, wait, I’m judgy? Hah! And then, it came to me, yes I am and I was pretty rude. However, I was authentic.
To be clear, Sheila would never talk to me again and avoided me on campus, so I lost a friend to be sure. And, I did not accomplish the original goal of making new friends, but I somehow did not mind it. Similarly, I likely could have handled it much better. Sadly, I think I have made that same type of mistake a couple of times since then. I have learned, however, that if something feels disingenuous, it likely is. It does not mean it is not genuine for someone else, just not for me.
I recall a couple years later, leaving campus after graduation and driving past Sorority row hearing one of their “sister songs” and swiftly yelling, “farewell Stepford sisters!” to nobody in particular. It felt satisfying at the time.
While I have learned to be slightly more tactful, I am still blunt and yes, judgy, but I’ve never been accused of being inauthentic and that works for me.
[ 1980s music ]
HOST:
Today’s story was not only written and read by Marie Newman, she helped produce it as well.
As we mentioned up front, Marie has a long list of talents. She served as the U.S. representative for Illinois’ 3rd Congressional District and has blazed other notable trails throughout her career as a marketing consultant, podcaster, and entrepreneur.
Marie has published When Your Child Is Being Bullied: Real Solutions and her most recent book will be released in April of this year, A Life Made From Scratch, her prescriptive memoir.
She also has a weekly column on Substack for those who would like to follow her there.
We’d like to give a special shout out to Rob Wallace who helped produce this with Marie and myself, and Michael Henery who helped mix this unique episode.
If the story here today conjures up a fraternity or sorority experience you lived through, we’d love to hear about it. Leave us a comment or two, or visit us at onceincollege.com and connect with us there. We’re looking for unique or unusual college experiences, but the ones that weren’t learned in a book or lecture. Which reminds us…
We want to thank Marie Newman again for reminding us to stay authentic and to stick to your beliefs, even if they sometimes go against the grain.
If you liked this episode or our podcast, give us a like. Or share it with someone who you think would relate to what we do. And if you want to hear our upcoming stories the moment they come out, please subscribe to our podcast. It really helps us more than you’d ever think. More than our GPAs ever did.
Until then, I’m Pete Griffith, back next week with more stories like this, all from a time Once, In College.
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